The topic of suffering is a theme I have studied a lot in my quiet times. Suffering is so common in our Christian walk. In John, Jesus literally promises that “In this world, you will have trouble” (John 16:33.) As followers of Him on a planet that has fallen to the ways of sin, suffering is inevitable.
I used to believe that I didn’t have a testimony. In middle school, I used to hear people’s stories about how God has used their suffering and I was jealous that I didn’t have that story for myself. I was raised in a Christian home. My lullabies were hymns. I knew who Jesus was as quickly as I learned that the sky is blue. We went to church around three times a week. My parents led the children’s ministry as faithful volunteers for my entire childhood. I went to a private Christian school until the 3rd grade. Life came easy. Suffering was only something I saw on TV or read in books.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Be careful what you wish for?” Yeah, me too. I wish I would have practiced it. My parents separated when I was a freshman in high school. No matter what role you play in divorce, no player comes out unscathed. It is a dirty, gruesome game that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It was about that time that I first experienced feeling abandoned, which led me into a depression that lasted most of my sophomore year. I suffered from self-loathing and low self-worth. It was one of the hardest years of my life. I felt so far from God and His will.
Suffering feels like shattering. It feels like our dreams, our lives, our desires are crushed under the weight of our sin or someone else’s sin. Suffering can be physical or mental. Suffering can look like death, pain, loss, trials, grief, or anguish. Suffering always hurts. It’s not easy. It takes away our hope and loves to lie to us. Suffering is hard.
In Him, there is always hope in the midst of our suffering. John 16:33 does not end with, “In this world, you will have trouble....” but Jesus speaks His faithfulness into existence, saying “but take heart, I have overcome the world.” Suffering is no match for our Savior. He is still bigger and better and faithful. No one has suffered more than Him. He took on the weight of every sin on the planet when He died for them on the cross. And then He overcame it by defeating the grave three days later. He overcame suffering so we may have an example to overcome it too.
Not only do we get the chance to overcome, but God uses our suffering for His glory. God was never absent in my suffering. He's the one who walked with me through it. He grabbed my attention during my junior year of high school and reminded me that suffering is what molds us and shapes us to look more like Him. In James 1, James writes that we have been called to “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of various kinds,” because suffering produces character, endurance, and faithfulness (James 1:2-4.) We are made into who He has called us to be through our suffering.
What I learned through one of the worst seasons of my life is that walking through divorce and self-hatred has both pushed me to rely on Him alone. That’s the funny thing: although suffering is not of the Lord, He always uses it to point us to Him. Whenever we walk through suffering, He reveals Himself to us and gives us the opportunity to seek Him in our pain.
God used my suffering to call me into ministry. If I had not walked through grief and loss and pain, I would not have the testimony and call to tell my story and share the truth of my God with all of you. If I had not walked in suffering, I would not have heard His voice calling me to write. I would not be ministering to those just like me that struggle and suffer with the exact same things I had to walk through. When we suffer, He uses it. My suffering gave me a passion to walk other people through theirs and point to Him in every step. It gave me the desire and the drive to make every moment an opportunity to seek His face.
I now have a testimony that God has given me. I love to share it. He has equipped me with a story filled with how He used my suffering to make me look more like Him. Our testimonies and stories of His faithfulness in the suffering of this world are what pull others to follow Him. He wants to use your suffering to call you to who He has made you to be. Even though we are shattered through suffering, pain, and sin, God puts us back together and renews us to look more like Him.
Comments